


Oh, I'm In Paradise (Show Me Heartbreak a Thousand Times)

by Idk0bro



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Anxious Zuko (Avatar), Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author doesn't know how to title fics, Idiots in Love, M/M, Oblivious Sokka (Avatar), Post-Canon, Sokka (Avatar) Being An Idiot, Southern Water Tribe, Zukka Week 2021, Zuko (Avatar) is an Idiot, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, the comics don't exist because i said so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 00:54:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30114660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idk0bro/pseuds/Idk0bro
Summary: Shoot. What would Uncle Iroh say? No -- he can figure this out himself, he’s the firelord, for Agni’s sake, he can’t rely on his uncle forever.He’s hidden his feelings for this long, surely he can control them for two and a half more days, right? Just long enough to visit the Southern Water Tribe, see some of his friends, and then return to his firelord duties before the winter months truly begin. This will be easy. There’s absolutely no reason to panic.
Relationships: Aang & Zuko (Avatar), Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	Oh, I'm In Paradise (Show Me Heartbreak a Thousand Times)

**Author's Note:**

> My second fic, wooo
> 
> This is my very late fic for Zukka Week, day 4: southern water tribe
> 
> Title from the song Televised by Hunny because I suck at titles :,) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Zuko can’t say he’s missed travelling by ship. Though it’s been over six years since he was first banished, the harsh red and gray metal of his cramped sleeping quarters, illuminated dimly by the light of a small lantern, doesn’t exactly bring back fond memories. He knows the reform he’s passed in the three years he’s been firelord has to have made up for some of the damage he had caused to the world as a misguided teenager, but any recollection of the time Zuko was hunting the avatar still makes him wince -- and his current surroundings definitely aren’t helping. Regardless, the only way to reach the Southern Water Tribe is by ship, so Zuko will just have to manage. The trip is almost over, anyway -- they should be reaching their destination within the hour.

_And if that doesn’t spark more anxiety in Zuko than being late to an important meeting ever has._ At this point, he knows attempting to calm his racing heart is futile. Zuko has been trying not to freak out the entire journey, but every time he thinks he’s succeeding, he’s reminded of what will greet him at the Southern Water Tribe -- or rather, _who_. And he’s starting to think it’s a problem that he remembers Sokka in everything.

_The clear, smooth blue of the sky, the same color as Sokka's eyes. Komodo rhino meat for dinner -- Sokka’s favorite, if you can get him to stop complaining about the spice for long enough to admit it._ Even the _moon_ reminds Zuko of him. Occasionally, he’ll look at the night sky and remember: _my first girlfriend turned into the moon._

(That’s rough, buddy.)

Zuko thought he was over his crush on Sokka; he’s horrified to think that in their time away, his crush may have evolved into something more. He hasn’t seen the other man in almost a year, finding himself too busy with meetings and reparations and avoiding assissination, and Sokka ostensibly too busy rebuilding his tribe and training to become the future chief. But now that he’s faced with the fact that he’ll be seeing Sokka again in a matter of minutes, he’s suddenly coming to the realization that he was likely just repressing his feelings in an attempt to convince himself they never really existed at all. 

_Shoot_. What would Uncle Iroh say? No -- he can figure this out himself, he’s the firelord, for Agni’s sake, he can’t rely on his uncle forever. He’s hidden his feelings for this long, surely he can control them for two and a half more days, right? Just long enough to visit the Southern Water Tribe, see some of his friends, and then return to his firelord duties before the winter months truly begin. This will be easy. There’s absolutely no reason to panic. 

Zuko takes a fortifying breath, having made his decision. He can survive two days. Ignoring the remaining anxiety buzzing under his skin, Zuko makes his way up the ship and onto the deck -- and just in time, as the captain announces that they’ve arrived at the Southern Water Tribe. As the gangplank lowers, he catches sight of two figures dressed in familiar shades of blue and white, and one in bright orange and yellow. 

Swallowing, Zuko descends the gangplank. His feet have just barely touched solid ground before a blur of blue is rushing at him, a shout of “ZUKO!” ringing through the air, and then he’s being tackled into a hug by Sokka. Despite his nerves, Zuko can’t help but grin. 

“Sokka. It’s good to see you again.” His words are muffled in the fur of Sokka’s parka -- he’s surprised to see that Sokka’s grown a few inches taller than him. 

Sokka squeezes him a little tighter, as if making sure Zuko is really there. The grip makes warmth bloom in his chest, and Zuko hopes his red cheeks will be attributed to the chilly weather and not the fact that he’s apparently so touch starved that just a simple hug can make him flush. “Spirits, I missed you so much,” Sokka breathes against his ear. Zuko shivers, and it has nothing to do with the cold. 

Suddenly, Sokka pulls back, holding Zuko out by the shoulders. “Oh my god, there’s so much I have to show you. You won’t believe how much things have changed!” 

Katara laughs, approaching them with Aang at her side. “Calm down, Sokka, we’ll have plenty of time to show Zuko around. He’s probably tired from his trip anyway, right, Zuko?” she asks, ever the gracious host.

“Uh, no -- no, that’s ok, I’m not really that tired. Um, travelling by ship always makes me kinda restless, anyways,” Zuko stutters, still dealing with the emotional whiplash of having Sokka so close, so soon. “Probably a habit from when I was -- you know,” he chuckles awkwardly, avoiding Aang’s eyes, _why did I just say that, you’re such an idiot, Zuko._

To his relief, Aang just laughs merrily and exclaims, “I missed you, Sifu hotman!” Zuko can’t bring himself to say anything about the nickname, even though he’s technically not Aang’s teacher anymore -- and certainly not a “hotman”. He settles for aiming a small smile at the younger boy instead.

Next to Aang, Katara smiles warmly, and says, “If you’re sure you want to look around with Sokka, you can go ahead. I’ve had to deal with this dimwit’s constant energy for the past eight months, so trust me, if you’re not tired now, you will be soon.” Her smile turns mischievous, even as Sokka lets out an offended _“hey!”_ next to him.

“Don’t listen to her, Zuko. We’re going to have a great time,” Sokka says, turning so his earnest blue eyes are trained on his. Zuko’s breath catches in his throat at Sokka’s undivided attention.

_How did he ever think this would be easy?_

* * *

The day passes in a whirlwind of unpacking, introductions, and _Sokka_ . Zuko feels only marginally bad about not catching anyone’s name, too captivated by Sokka’s enthusiasm to pay attention to much else. Everyone is excited to meet the firelord, but he wishes he could just be _Zuko_ for once, free to explore the Southern Water Tribe with his best-friend-slash-secret-crush. Thankfully, Sokka seems to notice Zuko’s waning mood, and suggests they head to the igloo to get settled for the night. Zuko shoots him a grateful, if tired, smile in thanks.

It’s only as they enter the igloo that Zuko realizes he’ll be sharing it with Sokka. The surprise must be evident on his face, because Sokka rubs the back of his neck sheepishly and says, “sorry, but there weren’t any empty igloos, so I offered to share mine with you. I hope that’s okay?” Somehow, Sokka seems… nervous, almost. Zuko pushes it to the back of his mind -- Sokka’s probably just worried Zuko is too uncomfortable with shared rooms. 

_As if Zuko could ever say no to him._ Instead of voicing this out loud, however, Zuko just smiles reassuringly and says, “this is perfect. Thanks.” He pointedly does not dwell on the fact that such close quarters will make it infinitely harder for him to hide his feelings. Now that he’s here, he just wants to spend as much time with Sokka as possible before he has to leave again and pretend that they’re nothing more than good friends. Maybe it’s just the residual excitement of Zuko's arrival, but the distance between them seems different somehow, more… charged, and Zuko wants to enjoy it while it lasts. It makes Zuko wonder if he might have a chance after all -- but no, even if he did, it’s not worth risking their relationship over. It’s probably just wishful thinking, anyway. 

Sokka lets out a sigh of relief, pulling Zuko out of his thoughts. “Thank the spirits. I thought it would be fine, but then you seemed so surprised when you came in, and it never occurred to me that you might not want to share a room with me in the first place…” Sokka trails off, taking a deep breath. “But I’m glad you said yes.” He grins. “And you know what that means… slumber party!”

Despite himself, Zuko laughs. “Don’t you need more than two people for a party?”

Sokka pouts. “Fine. But we still have so much to catch up on, so we can’t fall asleep anytime soon. Especially since you can only visit for a measly two days.” 

“Hey,” Zuko protests, “don’t blame me, blame my advisors. I can’t be gone for long, or one of them will probably try to stage a coup. And besides, you know it takes at least two days to travel from the fire nation to the south pole anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Sokka grumbles. Dragging some polar bear dog pelts over, Sokka plops down on the makeshift cushions and gestures for Zuko to take a seat as well. “We’ll just have to make the most out of the time we have. Speaking of which, I can’t wait to tell you about the latest gossip about Amka and Kallik,” he begins excitedly. “Letters really don’t do it justice. So you know how Amka was going to ask him out, right? Well, it turns out… ”

Zuko lets Sokka’s voice fade to a pleasant hum at the edge of his senses as the exhaustion that has been slowly building up over the last few hours finally manifests itself as an all-consuming blanket of drowsiness. In the cozy warmth of the igloo, finally next to Sokka again, Zuko finds himself subconsciously leaning closer to the other man, closing the already small distance between them to lean his body against Sokka’s. Sokka’s smooth voice hitches only slightly as Zuko rests his head against Sokka’s shoulder, but he simply places a hand at the small of Zuko’s back, rubbing gentle circles as he continues to talk, as if this is a normal occurrence. 

Zuko’s last coherent thought as he drifts off to sleep is, _I wish it could be_.

* * *

Zuko wakes up feeling more relaxed than he has in months. For once, he’s had no nightmares in the middle of the night, no assassins in his room to jarr him abruptly from his sleep. Instead, he opens his eyes to see -- _Sokka’s chest?_

Shoot, he must’ve fallen asleep on Sokka. Zuko’s newfound peacefulness evaporates as he recalls the events of the prior night, and _for Agni’s sake, Zuko, how dumb can you be? If Sokka didn’t know about your feelings before, he’ll certainly know now!_

Zuko scrambles out of bed, immensely grateful for his inner fire that makes him wake up at dawn each day. With any luck, Sokka will remain asleep for another few hours, giving Zuko enough time to forget that last night ever happened. Flushed, Zuko quickly tosses on his parka from last night -- Sokka must have taken it off for him when he fell asleep, and the thought makes a strange kind of warmth bubble in his chest -- and makes his way out of the igloo and into the freezing morning air. 

He doesn’t exactly have a plan in mind when he leaves the igloo, but as Zuko glances around, he wishes he had taken the time to come up with a thought more substantial than “out”. Around him, the tribe is already waking up; he thinks he sees Hakoda talking animatedly with another man -- Bako? Bato? Zuko has no clue -- and frantically ducks behind a nearby igloo to avoid being spotted. 

Unfortunately, he should’ve checked which igloo he was seeking shelter behind before hiding, because just as he’s turning his attention away from Hakoda, he bumps into one very enthusiastic avatar -- who promptly yells, “Zuko!” thus making the entire endeavor useless. Zuko sighs. 

“Hi, Aang,” he grumbles. Aang, oblivious to his mood, greets him with a grin and a hug. Zuko reluctantly hugs him back; despite his grumpiness, he’s glad to see the little monk again. Although Aang’s avatar duties bring him to the fire nation more often than any other member of the gaang, it’s still been far too long since Zuko had last seen him. 

“How’s it going in the fire nation?” Aang asks, pulling away from the hug. Zuko’s expression must visibly change at the mere implication of his firelord duties, because Aang quickly backtracks. “Wait -- don’t answer that, I’ll come up with a better question. How about…” Suddenly, Aang’s face lights up in a mischievous grin. “How’s it going with Sokka?”

Zuko groans. Since when did Aang become this perceptive? “It’s going fine. There’s nothing to talk about,” he replies curtly, and immediately regrets it when Aang’s face falls. _Curse him and his polar cub-puppy eyes._ With a sigh, Zuko explains, “We just spent the night catching up on Southern Water Tribe gossip.” It’s not a total lie; Sokka probably did spend a good portion of the night talking to an unconscious Zuko before finally realizing the firebender had fallen asleep -- and the sheer Sokka-ness of thought makes Zuko smile. He quickly drops the expression, but when he refocuses on Aang, the monk’s eyes are a little too knowing for Zuko’s comfort. 

“You know, when I told Katara how I felt, I was super nervous,” he begins. “We had spent so much time together that year, and I was afraid of pushing her away with my emotions, especially if she didn’t feel the same way. But of course, when I finally confessed, I realized that Katara returned my feelings completely. Looking back, it was obvious to everyone except us that we were in love.” Aang smiles fondly at the memory, before meeting Zuko’s eyes again meaningfully. “People will often say not to count your arctic hen eggs before they’ve hatched, because it’s harmful to be overconfident. But I think underconfidence can be just as damaging.”

Zuko gapes. “How did you -- what -- ugh!” he exclaims. “When did you get so wise?” 

Aang just grins. “I’m the avatar. It’s kinda my whole job,” he says, before sobering. “But seriously, tell Sokka how you feel. I have a feeling it’ll go better than you think.”

Zuko sighs. “I’m not making any promises.” Searching for a change in topic before Aang can say anything else to convince him, Zuko asks, “why are you awake so early, anyway?”

Aang beams. “I was hoping to find you so we could do some firebending together. What do you say, Sifu hotman?”

“Don’t call me that,” Zuko grumbles, but grudgingly makes to exit his not-so-effective hiding spot and head to the training grounds Sokka showed him yesterday, lest Aang decides to revisit their earlier topic of conversation. Hopefully, some firebending training will help get his mind off the whole Sokka situation. And if not… 

Well, Aang’s advice can’t be that bad, right? He certainly sounded very confident in what he was saying.

… Maybe Zuko will give it a try. 

* * *

Fortunately -- or unfortunately, he’s starting to think -- Zuko is saved from coming to a decision anytime soon, because he barely sees Sokka all day. The entire tribe is focused on preparing for the coming winter, it seems, and when Zuko asks Katara, she claims Sokka is busy helping the preparations. “He’s taken a lot more responsibility now that he knows he wants to be chief someday,” Katara says with an apologetic smile. “You’ll probably see him at dinner, though, if that makes it any better?” 

Zuko just frowns.

Thus, Zuko spends the majority of his second day at the Southern Water Tribe with a glorified tour guide who shows him all the “new” architecture that Zuko had either already seen yesterday or already heard about through Sokka and Katara’s letters. More than anything, he wishes he was able to pay attention to the guide instead of spiraling about what he’s going to do with Sokka, because he thinks Sokka might be avoiding him. 

It makes sense -- after what happened last night, Zuko would want to avoid talking about it for as long as possible, too; in fact, that’s exactly what he was attempting to do this morning. And if Aang’s wrong, if Sokka truly doesn’t like him that way, then that makes it so much worse, because now Sokka will have to find a way to let Zuko down gently -- and Zuko doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle it, if that ends up being the case. With each hour that passes without sight of Sokka, Zuko becomes more and more convinced that Aang must have been wrong about how Sokka feels; the only logical explanation is that Sokka figured Zuko’s less-than-platonic feelings out and doesn’t feel comfortable with him anymore, and is avoiding him so he’ll get the hint. So maybe it’s for the best that he doesn’t see Sokka all day until all four of them converge in Katara and Aang’s igloo for dinner; now he can put off the impending rejection for at least a little longer, even if he knows it’s coming sooner or later.

Dinner is a silent affair. Katara and Aang do most of the talking, with Sokka staying uncharacteristically silent for almost the entire meal. Zuko can’t help but notice the way Sokka refuses to meet his gaze, or the pointed stares he sees Katara aiming at her brother. Each time it happens, the nauseous anxiety in Zuko’s stomach builds a little more, until finally he can’t take it. Pushing away from the table, he says, “I think I’m going to go to bed early today.”

Sokka shoots up from his seat too, meeting Zuko’s eyes for the first time all night. “Wait! Wait, I’ll walk you to the igloo.”

Suddenly, the anxiety that has been simmering in Zuko’s gut all day curdles into anger. Sokka’s been ignoring him all day, and _now_ he wants to talk? “No,” he says curtly, “it’s fine. I can get there myself.”

“Zuko, wait, please. Look, I’m sorry for avoiding you -- can I please just explain?” 

Zuko pauses, doubt beginning to creep its way into his mind. He had been so sure that Sokka was going to reject him, but the way Sokka’s talking now… he sounds almost desperate. Why? Surely he wouldn’t be that eager just to break Zuko’s heart, right?

“Fine,” Zuko says. Sokka sighs audibly in relief, before hurrying to catch up to Zuko, who is already making his way out of the igloo. As soon as they’re out of hearing range from Katara and Aang, Zuko whirls to face Sokka; he’s not waiting around for what he thinks is coming.

“Look, Sokka, if you’re going to reject me, just do it now. You’ve already kept me waiting the whole day,” he says bitterly. 

But to Zuko’s confusion, Sokka doesn’t look sad, or disgusted, or even resigned; he just looks utterly shocked. 

“Zuko, what are you talking about?” Sokka asks incredulously. “Look, I really am sorry about ignoring you all day -- and if I made you think that I was going to, to _reject_ you, then I really messed up even worse than I thought.” He takes a deep breath. “But Zuko, the reason I was avoiding you was because, last night, I realized I kinda-sorta-maybe-like-you-as-more-than-just-a-friend,” he rushes out. “And I really shouldn’t have dealt with that realization by trying to avoid you the very next day. I just -- didn’t know what to do, because I thought that you might not feel the same way.” Sokka takes a tentative step towards Zuko, hope shining in his eyes. “But now -- if you thought I was going to reject you -- then does that mean --”

And now Zuko’s eyes are shining too, albeit for a somewhat different reason. “Sokka,” he breathes, then, louder, “spirits, we’re so dumb.” 

Sokka takes another step closer, close enough that Zuko can wrap his arms around his neck, so he does. Their foreheads slide together, smooth as ice. “So is that a yes?” Sokka asks, but he’s grinning, and Zuko’s sure he knows the answer. 

“Of course. A million times, of course,” Zuko whispers, and kisses him.

**Author's Note:**

> Do I hate the ending? Kinda. Will I fix it? Ehh...
> 
> Let me know if you spot any mistakes, I'm still getting the hang of posting on ao3!


End file.
